Frankenstorm?

        No matter where you live you always have some form of natural disaster to worry about. Here in the US depending on where you live you can have tornadoes, hurricanes, blizzards, mud slides, floods, wildfires, tsunami's and volcanoes. We live in the Appalachian Mountains in western Pennsylvania, so we are used to snow, ice, and flooding. It is a running joke that you go from winter to construction and back (they just re-opened one of the major roads by my house Friday night in time for winter). We often get the misnamed "wintery mix" through out the fall and spring (I say it is misnamed because it sounds cute and fun like some sort of festive chex mix, in  reality it is a disgusting mess of rain/ice/snow that no one can drive in). We have had a rare handful of tornadoes or micro-bursts, we have also had a couple of hurricane's come in land enough to dump rain on us.

         For those hiding under a rock that haven't seen the news, they are calling for Hurricane Sandy to make landfall tomorrow, then to have a head on collision with a storm that is already dropping temperatures and rain on us. At this point no one really knows what is going to go on but there's a good chance we will either get a lot of rain or snow and dangerous winds. The governor has already declared a state of disaster so that he can start mobilizing in case there is as much damage as being forecast.  The electric companies are calling in technicians as we speak to deal with expected outages. Maybe this time if we do lose power it won't take as long to restore.

         Everyone is encouraged to get a storm kit ready for worst case circumstances. Basics of a storm kit include bottled water, matches, flashlights, battery operated radio, first aid kit, nonperishable food, back up batteries and a cell phone. Even if this storm is over hyped and we just get a normal storm this is always good to have around in case your power randomly goes out (say for 12 hours because a drunk idiot hits a telephone pole). We decided to update our kit because Ducky is scared of the dark. The last time we lost power we had to keep the flashlight pointed on her toys to keep her from flipping out. I wanted to get a spiffy lantern I had found that lasts up to 500 hours on 3 D batteries (Energizer FL452WRBP Weather Ready LED Folding Lantern (Google Affiliate Ad)), but when I got to Walmart they were completely sold out. In fact they were sold out of almost all but the propane lanterns, after my sister and I grabbed the last 2 mini lanterns and ran they were completely out. I thought a fight was going to break out between people pushing and shoving to flashlights after we left. We also found a cool night light that remains on even if the power goes out (GE 11281 2-LED POWER FAILURE EMERGENCY LIGHT (Google Affiliate Ad).

         Other than getting the new lanterns and a battery operated radio (we don't own well any type of radio) we didn't need to add anything to our storm kit. I do need to take care of running around and gathering up toys in case we have to hide from the winds. In the past if the tornado siren went off I grabbed a drink, my cell phone and a book and set off to whatever room had no windows. In our current house this is a lovely cell in our basement that is dark and cold and no amount of sprucing up can keep it from being gloomy. I need to have enough easily carried toys and books to convince a very hyper toddler that this is a fun room to play in until its safe to come out.

         I went from getting everything ready for trick or treating to getting everything ready for Frankenstorm. I'm really hoping we still get to go trick or treating as this is our family's favorite holiday, but we already missed out on it at my mom's place because we didn't want to risk coming back up the mountain after dark today. Are you ready for the storm? Are you ready for the storm with tiny demanding people aka kids? For all of those who are hiding under a rock here is the expected path  for "Sandy" aka "Frankenstorm".

A Rash is a Rash?

          This weekend we have encountered a foe we continue to battle....diaper rash! Diaper rash is a common enough ailment in babies but until having Ducky I didn't know there were different types of diaper rashes. Most diaper rashes are just contact diaper rash from little sensitive bottoms rubbing on diapers or their bottoms being irritated from changes in food or having a wet diaper. Even if you change their diapers with ninja quickness they can still get diaper rash. These are easy to treat with over the counter creams and loose diapers.

          My child has the joy of fungal/yeast diaper rashes. When she got her first one we were at our wits ends because nothing we did helped. We tried every diaper rash cream on the market, even bought the super expensive supposedly better pastes to no avail. Our poor little princess was still sore and cranky. She wouldn't take a bath because the water on her bottom hurt. We finally broke down and went to the doctors office who told us we hadn't done anything wrong just didn't know that the rash was fungal.

         She gets them every time she is sick or teething. Something about the excess saliva in her stool throws off her system enough to immediately make her break out. There's a simple enough solution, antifungal cream! Our pediatrician had written us a prescription but when we went to the pharmacy they didn't have it in the back. The nice lady showed me that the athlete's foot cream had the same exact ingredients with no added scents or irritants so we decided to try it until they got the prescribed medicine in. It cleared it up within a day! We eventually did pick up the prescription stuff just for the next time but since it was 2x the cost we'll just stick with the over the counter.

Here's some info about regular diaper rashes:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_diaper-rash_81.bc

Here's some info about yeast diaper rashes:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_yeast-diaper-rash_10913.bc

And here's a nifty evaluation guide:
http://www.desitin.com/pictures-of-diaper-rash

          I just hope my daughter stops getting them soon. Almost all of her teeth are in but since we're not fully potty trained yet any time she gets sick I immediately start trying to find where I put the ointment (so I wouldn't lose it of course!). Until then changing her diaper is a 2 man job unless I get that spare set of arms I keep asking for.

         

Dupa Over Tea Kettle

     Today's terrifying moment in parenting has to do with a simple fact of toddlerdom/childhood, kid's will fall down. When they are first learning to stand they fall on their little diaper padded butts, a lot! Then comes the learning to walk stage when they just randomly topple over like your drunk relative at family get togethers. Next is the running stage where they don't care if there is a person/chair/shelf/animal in the way they are running full out and will deal with the consequences if the object doesn't get out of their way. We have now reached the stage where we "run away". Any time Ducky's feet can hit the ground she is off in the opposite
direction or after the big kids.

       It was gorgeous out today so we (us and the neighbors) were all out enjoying a last bit of warmth before the inevitable snow. Now I first need to point out that Ducky can reach the speed of a cheetah when she wants to. And she always wants to be doing whatever the big kids are doing. She took off and I had thought she had been blocked from escaping but was not (it was a big confusing mess). In any case I realize she has managed an escape and take off after her. I catch up just in time to watch her do a diving roll through the neighbors back yard.

         At this point I realize A. my daughters a ninja, B. SHE'S NOT CRYING! I know she feels pain because she will cry over shots or pinching her fingers, but she can fall and skin her knees, hit her head, in general bash herself up and not make a noise! She currently is sporting a scratch under her eye, a black eye, and random other bumps and bruises from her tumble and couldn't care less! A few weeks ago she had a little black eye and no one could figure out from what because she NEVER cried or indicated she hit it and none of us witnessed her getting hurt.

         This not being upset over bumps and bruises scares me just as much as the injuries themselves, because it's not teaching her fear. No matter how many times I tell her no, stop, don't touch etc it will be fear that teaches her to listen to mommy. Right now she doesn't fear pain so I guess I will need to brush up on my own ninja skills to make sure she doesn't get seriously injured.

Can Mommy Please Go Potty?

   Sorry for my absence, things have been crazy lately between  deaths, illnesses and birthday parties. Being sick is what prompted this blog. As Mommies we all know that our body is no longer just ours while we're pregnant. What I hadn't realized was the extent to which you never regain possession of it!

    When you're pregnant you know your body is no longer just yours, it is now a vessel for building your little miracle. For most women it's giving up drinking/drugs/etc that's bad for you and taking vitamins and eating healthily with moderate exercise. I had pretty severe gestational diabetes so my diet had to completely change, I wanted to cry when I found out no more sugar (of course I was pregnant over Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas/Birthday). Strict diet and exercise wasn't able to control my diabetes so I had to start taking insulin multiple times a day. I lost weight through the entirety of my pregnancy because of the diet and how sick I was (before you decide to hate me think of having to inject insulin when you have no fat left - the bruises were spectacular).  I knew that my own wants/needs/cravings no longer applied because I had to make sure that my child was born healthy.

     After you finally have the baby you know that your life is now about feedings and diaper changes and naps. No matter how exhausted you are, if you haven't slept in 3 days, when your newborn needs you that's what matters.  If you're breast feeding you really don't have your body back because you now have to make sure you're eating enough calories to keep up with both you and your baby. You also have to triple check every little thing to make sure you can safely take it without it being passed through your milk or making it dry up (I miss allergy medicine).

      As your child grows into toddlerdom you think "Yay maybe I can have it back!", but alas no they still own your body. Despite being able to feed themselves, and entertain themselves to an extent they still demand control of your physical shell. Point in case I had a brutal cold/cough, Ducky had it and got over it within a few days but mine would not go away. The cough was so bad I pulled muscles in my stomach and chest. I wasn't able to sleep because of the coughing and worried about her breathing. This does not matter to a toddler.  They don't understand "Mommy doesn't feel good, can we lay down and rest?". As they get older they probably do but at the stage mine is at, if she's feeling well then everyone else should be also.

      The other way my daughter currently owns me has to do with sharing. We encourage sharing but have created a monster. She now feels the need to share whatever she is eating (while typing this she is shoving snacks at me to make me eat with her), and you better eat it or she will just keep shoving it at your mouth until it is either eaten or magically disappears. She also feels the need to share every toy and activity she enjoys. I love playing with my daughter, we have great fun playing with blocks and cars and all of her little toys. I also try to get her to have independent play time, where she colors by herself or engages in some solitary activity. This is right now a total fail. I apparently need to join her in every single thing she is doing and vice versa.

     My software update at work went awry so I've been spending all my time at home with her. I think she is used to having the other kids to play with during the day and since I'm all she has right now I have to fill in. I have actually found myself asking my toddler permission to go to the bathroom as she drags me from room to room and activity to activity this week (of course she has to go with me to make sure I'm not secretly having fun or relaxing). I realize I need to stop this behavior before she gets spoiled and won't do anything on her own but I also don't want her to think Mommy and Daddy are too busy for her or not interested in her.
   
      It's a fine balancing act you have to master as a parent, but you still aren't getting your body back. Whether it's the snuggle me I don't feel good, Hold me and protect me from the scary thing, come look at this awesome thing I did, you are there for them. I'm looking forward to this evolving as she gets older but don't plan on my body being my own again until she's an adult if even then.

Breaking the News

    Sorry about the late post again folks, this was a very tough week for our family. Ducky's grandfather Pap Pap died. It was not after a long drawn out illness such as cancer, but not quite fast and shocking like from an accident or act of violence. Both have they're own pitfalls. With the lingering death you at least know its coming and get to say good bye. There's no easy way to deal with the loss of a loved one. We personally try to remember all the great moments we've had with the person and celebrate their lives. The loss however brought up several questions you always have to ask yourself.

    The main question is how to broach the subject, which largely depends on the age and maturity level of the child. Ducky is clearly too young to understand death, everything is very now for her. I'm sad because she will never remember her pap pap and she will only how much he loved her from what we tell her. On the other hand, although it sounds cold, I don't have to worry about her grief as well as our own. I do however have to worry about our grief in how it affects her. Our daughter is extraordinarily empathetic, if someone is crying (such as the neighbor when I was re-piercing his ears) she will be as well. When one of us has a random moment when it strikes us that we will never receive a random call that he's around the corner and get out on the porch and let him know we can't show it.

     This also brings up the second major question I had to ask myself, when is it appropriate to take your child to a funeral. I went to my first funeral when I was 6 and I understood I had to be quiet and we were all there to say goodbye to our loved one but I was not ready for the open casket viewing. I thought it was a doll someone had made that looked like her. That wouldn't have been an issue in this case, but I don't think my rambunctious toddler would be able to sit and be quiet through and actual funeral service.

      The third question then becomes what do we do with our children during the viewings, service and burial? So far we have yet to have a "stranger" baby sitter. All of our child care has been a family member or close friend. In the past I stayed home with Ducky but that would not be an option because this time I'm close to the person as well as my husband. We had several offers to watch her if we needed but I still felt awkward because I felt like I would be saying "ok you're not close enough to attend the funeral but close enough I trust you with our child! Congrats on being a second ring friend!". We all know the rings or levels of friendship exist but it's always awkward to acknowledge them. You have the really close friends who might as well be family at this point, the ones that are great friends but don't know everyone in your family, and those friends who know nothing about your family other than they maybe exist.

       The final questions I had to ask myself this week was the dreaded "what if's?". What if one of use dies, what do we want done? Funeral or Cremation? Buried close to our family or where we live now? Ashes kept in an urn or scattered? Who gets Kiernan if something happens to both of us? Who is going to be in charge of handling arrangements if a different one of our loved ones dies?

       In the end however all we're left with are our memories of a man who loved his family. We will be able to tell Ducky about how her Pap Pap used to call us to tell us about every movie he watched. How the man should have floated away with the amount of coffee he drank. We have a few of his belongings we are keeping but she will never understand the hilarity of a man who always got confused with his cell phone but constantly had a blue tooth device on his ear is why we kept it. Hopefully through the family stories she will one day get to know him since she's not going to get to grow up with him here for her.

Wait, What? Huh? It plays music!

       As I've posted previously one of my main fears with parenting is screwing up. I have studied psychology and child development both prior to thinking about conceiving.  I've also been reading just about everything you can find about parenting toddlers. I know you're not supposed to compare children's development directly to others, and there's no set moment they should just magically develop a skill. The past 2 weeks (sorry I didn't post last weekend we were busy playing). Ducky has helped remind me of this.

See it really is a throne!

        I was off last week for vacation (I think I worked more cleaning and organizing and chasing Ducky than I do at my actual job) so we spent the week working on potty training. To this point Ducky has just assumed that funny plastic chair was just a fun seat/climbing toy. I would sit her down and read her a book, watch tv, play blocks all while sitting on the chair but after 5 minutes with no activity we would abandon the throne (and I would chase after a pant less lightening bolt). She finally actually used it last Monday and I think it was a toss up as to which of us was more excited and surprised by the music issuing forth from the throne! After that she will go once or twice a day so we still have a lot of work to go but we're slowly getting there. I was worried that we were going to have a really hard time getting her potty trained or I was going to make her hate/fear the potty chair. She reminded me just to have patience and while all my friends are posting about how their children are fully potty trained that she'll get there eventually.

       The other way she has reminded me to have patience is with her speech development. I've been worried because other than Momma and Dadda she hadn't mastered many other words than MINE, yeah, and why (I really wish she hadn't learned this one). The only sentences she would use were "I did it!" (normally as she is destroying something) and "No I do it!" (normally when trying to brush her hair/teeth so she really can't). But last week it was like the flood gates opened and actual words poured forth (and wouldn't stop). Her vocabulary has at least tripled and she's using actual sentences now (very short sentences that you can only understand half of but they still count!). She's now fascinated with learning new words by sounding them out, we still have some trouble with frustration when I can't figure out what she wants/needs but we are doing much better now.

         She has given me a new fear this week though. I believe my little bundle of terror has learned/inherited Mommy's obsessive compulsive disorder. So far she has rearranged her bath time supplies by color, her books, tomatoes by size, her blocks by color, and her toys sitting order. Today when we were putting groceries away she was handing me everything and gave me all of one thing before grabbing another even when they were in a different bag and there were still things in the first bag. She then helped me reorganize the fridge. So one fear alleviated and another one initiated. Unfortunately this is how I believe parenting will always be.

Attack of the Crib

         Kids get stuck in things. It's a fact of life. Kid's get stuck in chairs, on their backs, between stair rails, or in Ducky's case between the crib slats. She has 8 teeth coming in (I wish I had whiskey in the house, not for her for me!) all at once, and the accompanying diaper rash she gets with it. So she was already having a rough night when she got her leg between the crib slats. I don't mean little stuck I mean wedged in and can't move it at all stuck. I was ready to punch out the crib slat to free her little leg when I finally got Daddy awake and he extricated her. She refused to go back in the crib (I can't blame her the crib tried to eat her leg!) so i had to spend the night holding her to get her to sleep. She now has big ugly bruises above her knee on the inside and outside of her leg as well as little finger print bruises from us grabbing her leg to try to get it out. As scary as this was it's not what had me terrified this week.

         She had shots the next day. (THIS IS NOT A FORUM TO DEBATE VACCINATIONS ANY COMMENTS ABOUT SUCH WILL BE DELETED). This to me was terrifying because I was afraid they wouldn't believe us about how and why she got the bruises. I'm scared of anyone ever trying to take my baby girl away from me (momma bear syndrome in full effect). This is where my knowledge of the law is a bad thing. I know if any medical professional suspects abuse they are required to report it to the proper authorities. I agree with this because sometimes a spiral fracture is the only outward evidence of a child's private hell. I also know sometimes kid's just fall/get stuck/run into things  (that wall jumped right in front of her!) and get bruises and broken bones. But unless you have photos or video of the accident how do you prove the bruises are from grabbing her leg to get it out instead of grabbing her leg in anger? Our pediatrician is awesome and knows we did nothing to harm our baby girl only helped her to escape the evil crib monster.

        Sorry for the short post but mommy is on vacation and has a little bundle of terror to play blocks with. :)