When you're pregnant you know your body is no longer just yours, it is now a vessel for building your little miracle. For most women it's giving up drinking/drugs/etc that's bad for you and taking vitamins and eating healthily with moderate exercise. I had pretty severe gestational diabetes so my diet had to completely change, I wanted to cry when I found out no more sugar (of course I was pregnant over Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas/Birthday). Strict diet and exercise wasn't able to control my diabetes so I had to start taking insulin multiple times a day. I lost weight through the entirety of my pregnancy because of the diet and how sick I was (before you decide to hate me think of having to inject insulin when you have no fat left - the bruises were spectacular). I knew that my own wants/needs/cravings no longer applied because I had to make sure that my child was born healthy.
After you finally have the baby you know that your life is now about feedings and diaper changes and naps. No matter how exhausted you are, if you haven't slept in 3 days, when your newborn needs you that's what matters. If you're breast feeding you really don't have your body back because you now have to make sure you're eating enough calories to keep up with both you and your baby. You also have to triple check every little thing to make sure you can safely take it without it being passed through your milk or making it dry up (I miss allergy medicine).
As your child grows into toddlerdom you think "Yay maybe I can have it back!", but alas no they still own your body. Despite being able to feed themselves, and entertain themselves to an extent they still demand control of your physical shell. Point in case I had a brutal cold/cough, Ducky had it and got over it within a few days but mine would not go away. The cough was so bad I pulled muscles in my stomach and chest. I wasn't able to sleep because of the coughing and worried about her breathing. This does not matter to a toddler. They don't understand "Mommy doesn't feel good, can we lay down and rest?". As they get older they probably do but at the stage mine is at, if she's feeling well then everyone else should be also.
The other way my daughter currently owns me has to do with sharing. We encourage sharing but have created a monster. She now feels the need to share whatever she is eating (while typing this she is shoving snacks at me to make me eat with her), and you better eat it or she will just keep shoving it at your mouth until it is either eaten or magically disappears. She also feels the need to share every toy and activity she enjoys. I love playing with my daughter, we have great fun playing with blocks and cars and all of her little toys. I also try to get her to have independent play time, where she colors by herself or engages in some solitary activity. This is right now a total fail. I apparently need to join her in every single thing she is doing and vice versa.
My software update at work went awry so I've been spending all my time at home with her. I think she is used to having the other kids to play with during the day and since I'm all she has right now I have to fill in. I have actually found myself asking my toddler permission to go to the bathroom as she drags me from room to room and activity to activity this week (of course she has to go with me to make sure I'm not secretly having fun or relaxing). I realize I need to stop this behavior before she gets spoiled and won't do anything on her own but I also don't want her to think Mommy and Daddy are too busy for her or not interested in her.
It's a fine balancing act you have to master as a parent, but you still aren't getting your body back. Whether it's the snuggle me I don't feel good, Hold me and protect me from the scary thing, come look at this awesome thing I did, you are there for them. I'm looking forward to this evolving as she gets older but don't plan on my body being my own again until she's an adult if even then.
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