Sunday, November 25, 2012

Your Head is a Rock

        I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving Day dinner! We had fun at all three of ours. However I did what I always pick on my bestie for. I left something behind. In this instance Ducky's nice warm winter coat. It was cold when we left at 7am but by the time we got off the mountain and down to my Grandma's it was warmer, and when we left at noonish she would have roasted if we had her wear the coat. I thought we had grabbed it but it some how got put in the spare room and of course I didn't realize this until we were walking through our front door (45 minutes later). We have her backup coat but it isn't as warm as the one we forgot. Now I feel guilty because it is freezing cold and snowing all of a sudden. We're getting the coat back at some point this week through a convoluted method so I'll just have to make sure she doesn't spend too much time outside until we do.

        While I feel horrible about it that's not the terrifying topic this week. Hard heads are. I know everyone jokes about people having hard heads, myself included. This may be in reference to being stubborn or willful. It can also literally mean you have a hard head. In Ducky's case it is both. In terms of stubbornness our little girl is getting very very willful and determined. Yesterday she demanded my husband stay sitting where she put him or she lectured him, little finger waving and all. This was of course hilarious to me and we laughed about it and gave in. We will on little matters to make it clear we will listen to her sometimes but when it comes to her safety (like stealing mommy's scissors) there is no discussion. If we're at home and she decides she wants to wear her pajamas instead of real clothes, I don't see a problem with it. I like seeing her coming into her own personality and making small decisions that show it.

        Now on the literal front, my daughter has a hard head. I've already talked about her falling on the sidewalk, her ninja rolls through the neighbors yard that she just laughed off. This week we have added to the accidents that should have caused injuries list. We have a set bed time routine, part of which is letting her run down the hallway to bed. Well on Wednesday night she added to the routine by running headfirst into the molding around the one door. She then stands up grabs her forehead, glares at the door jam like it's the doors fault before taking off again. No tears, no marks, no damage what so ever. Again tonight she accidentally ran into the door, I'm guessing she thought it wasn't latched as it normally isn't. Just bonk right into the door, glared at the door, then turned around and glared at me. No crying, no red mark, nothing. I'm not complaining it just scares me! She's eventually going to run into something that is harder than her head and then we're going to be in trouble.

     For now I'm off to watch Christmas movies, work on my crocheting and research helmets!


Sunday, November 18, 2012

Oh My Aching Back

        I know a lot of mothers over come physical disabilities to be awesome mothers, so I always feel guilty when I think mine are causing me to be less of a mother than I normally am. I have no large intestine from a surgery I had due to ulcerative colitis, the surgery also resulted in me having a massive hernia in a round about way. I also had an abscess following the surgery around the base of my spine  so I have had problems with my lower back since then. On top of that I also have scoliosis in my mid to upper back right below my shoulder blades. In a nut shell my back is a big mess, and my body randomly decides to revolt.

      Normally I only have 1 thing act up at once. So my lower back will hurt but I can compensate with how I pick Ducky up and how I move. Right now my lower back feels like I got hit with a baseball bat, I managed to pull the muscles on both sides of my back right when the scoliosis is, and my belly is in full flip out mode.  In short if I were not a mother I would be hiding in bed with crackers, gatorade and a heating pad!

       But I am a mother. There's no sick day when you're a mommy. Toddler's don't understand that you're in pain but will be ok. As I've previously stated Ducky is very very empathetic. If I move to fast or wrong and grunt/hiss/moan or show pain in any way she is upset and thinks something is wrong. She then wants me to pick her up and hold her to comfort her/she can comfort me. Which makes it hurt more.

       There's also little things that you use your back for that you take for granted. Bending over to change her diaper is a lesson in agony. Trying to play blocks is a fun adventure because she hides them behind me knowing it takes me a while to get to them. The baby gate is more of a nuisance than ever because I have to lift her over it. Trying to get squirmy worm into her clothes in a challenge on the best days but says like today make me wish it were warm enough to let her run around in a diaper.

     So while I want to lay down and rest and not move for say the next week I know that is not an option especially with an active toddler who expects and deserves my attention and affection. So I will continue to do what parents everywhere do which is grin and bear it and learn to adapt. Which is really what life is all about. I hope as she gets older she will learn this lesson and take it to heart and be a stronger person who works to overcome anything life throws in her way. I know some very strong women in my life I am thankful for that instilled this mindset in me.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Mommy Hold Me!

            This week we have been plagued with what I have named the dreaded Mommy hold me disease. It started with a low grade fever and being super fussy. The fever has since broken but the fussyness has remained. As I type this one handed as she sleeps on my lap I wonder when it will abate. Ducky is for the most part a very happy baby other than the hour before bathtime/bedtime when she is an absolute demon. She will of course throw a fit every once in while when I take something off of her or yell at her but she normally forgets and moves on shortly. This week I realized exactly how lucky I have been.

              Perfect example of how she is acting differently was lunch the other day, I took the food out of the oven and off the cookie sheet, put it on a plate. Now normally when I tell her something is too hot she will look at me seriously and say hot while fanning her mouth then wander off to play until I tell her its ok to eat. That day she screamed, not cried, screamed for 7 minutes straight, and yes I timed it. It wasn't like she was hungry either she had just eaten her lunch, this was my lunch. I tried everything to get her to calm down but nothing worked until I decided it was cool enough and she had a minuscule bite then wandered off. That's the most extreme she's been with me for the most part its just whiny and wanting mommy to hold her. 

              I don't mean just snuggle on the couch and read a book/watch a movie hold me. She wants me to hold her while we build with blocks, while we color, pretty much if she can find a way for me to hold her she wants it. I really wish I had a photo of me trying to crochet while she was sitting on my lap. I'm hoping this is just a growth spurt but it's been so long since she had one I kinda forget what they're like! She does want to eat nonstop which I remember from before but she's not tired all the time like she was in previous growth spurts.

            People always say about not coddling your child and fostering dependence. I don't want a child that is permanently attached to me and can't function on her own. At the same time I can't stand the thought that she is in pain and I'm telling her "no I won't comfort you, sorry go play". I figure she can have a couple more days of being spoiled and if she is still acting fussy we might go to the doctors to make sure nothings wrong then move on from there. I'm still just praying I don't mess her up too bad!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Good Fan Bad Mom?

            Yay we came through the storm safely. Had a bit of leakage I think just from the wind and rain combined but other than that no damage. I wish the same could be said of everyone in the country. Hopefully everything gets back to normal for everyone affected by the storm as soon as possible. One of the signs of how resilient Americans  are is the NY Giants vs Pittsburgh Steelers game currently taking place. No power, no gas, no water but the fans still made it to the game!

            Now this game brings up one of my fears, I am a rabid fan. I will yell at the tv and tell the players what they did. I will tell the refs they are blind and need to study up on whatever sport they are judging. As we speak I am yelling that a penalty wasn't challenged and the coach is moron for not challenging it because it just enabled the other team to score. I am a very loyal and dedicated fan but am I teaching my daughter intolerance or to be judgmental? On the flip side I am teaching her that the rules should apply to everyone equally and you should stand up for what you believe in even if it's something as trivial as a sports game.

           Also everyone brings up how violent video games and television is but nobody says much about sports. Football has people running and tackling each other which is fine until its little kids and someone gets "tackled" too close to a coffee table or something. We were at a hockey game earlier and they're shoving each other into the glass and getting into fist fights. Baseball is less violent but you can still have moments where they slide violently into base or run each other over in order to get a run.

          There's so many things you have to worry about as a parent to try to make sure you end up with a happy well adjusted child. You just sometimes worry about random things that you didn't have to before kids. I'm probably going to handle this like I do with everything else which is keep doing what I'm doing and address the issues as they arise. I'll make sure she has all the information available and we talk everything through and then if she wants to she can join me in saying that these refs need to get to an eye doctors because they clearly can't see.